RevGalBlogPals is discussing Anne Lamott's latest work Grace Eventually.
I love Anne Lamott and her writing. She is gifted at imagery. I love her word pictures and can simply see what she writes. This was even more true as I "read" the CD version of this book traveling 14 hours to visit my parents in May. It was a treat to hear her words in her voice. I enjoyed worshiping in the same church as she when I lived in MArin County, CA for a year in seminary. I treasure that experience of church. It is an amazing congregation. I was blessed by worshiping as a part of that community.
Here are my responses to the book discussion. . .
1)1. Did Grace Eventually live up to your expectations? Why or why not?
This book actually exceeded my expectations following my reading of Plan B. Like a previous post, I was a bit worried about her with her anger toward Bush.
Plan B was a bit too focused on Bush and hie politics. I understand her dislike (hatred) of the administration, but didn't really want to read so much about it. I was aware of her political agenda and agree, but it was too emotional and LONG. I was looking for more "thoughts on faith" and less political ranting.
This book is more like "Traveling Mercies, I think. I enjoy her candor about all sorts of things and this one was chock full!
2)How much did you know about Lamott and her spirituality before you started reading the book? Were you familiar with the her platform, and did this influence your decision to choose the work? Did the book live up to your expectations of the author? Did it exceed your expectations? Why or why not?
I knew well her stance on things. I attended the same church as she for a year and got to know her a bit through the church.
I almost didn't read this work because of my extreme disappointment in the last (plan b) but found a great deal on the web and purchased the CD version - by accident. However it was a real treat to hear the stories in her own voice, literally!
3. What did you like or dislike about the book that hasn't been discussed already? Were you glad you read this book? Would you recommend it to a friend? Do you want to read more works by this author?
I really enjoyed, maybe that isn't the right word, I was challenged by the essay on "Grace" and the assisting of her friend's death. As a pastor I imagine the day will come when I have to make some similar decisions or at least be aware of someone in this situation. I would probably do just as Anne but not without angst. I thought it a lovely work and cherish the imagery of that couple's love.
I would recommend this book.
I will probably read each new work as soon as she writes it.
4. What do you think motivated Anne Lamott to share these particular personal stories? How did you respond to her "voice"?
I have a sense Anne writes what is important to her whatever the topic. I enjoy her candor and honesty.
7. In one of her chapters, "Wailing Wall," she writes that "anger is good, a bad attitude is excellent, and the medicinal powers of shouting and complaining cannot be overestimated." Do you agree or disagree and tell why?
I think whatever emotion you are feeling is important. One simply has to monitor the expression of said emotion. Anger is a great motivator for change.
I wouldn't imflict my negative attitude on others, but some days it is a luxury to simply be negative!
Shouting and complaining are grat panaceas. I don't shout so much, but when I do it is a great release. Complaining is a constant in my life. I have a wonderful friend and a therapist who both allow me to vent. It is great at reducing my stress. I also like to get it out so that I don't errupt inappropriately in a commottee meeting or at some little old lady who means well, but I just don't want to do things her way!!
9. She writes at one point "I prayed impatiently for patience, and to stop feeling disgusted by myself, and to believe for a few moments that God, just a bit busy with other suffering in the world, actually cared about one menopausal white woman on a binge." What are your thoughts about that?
Waiting impatiently for patience sounds somewhat like the human condition! Who of us hasn't been there?
It is common, even for a pastor to wonder at times if God has the time to really care about my little problems. Thanks be to God that the little problems of mine are precisely God's interest.
10. "I wish grace and healing were more abracadabra kinds of things," she writes in one of her essays, "that delicate silver bells would ring to announce grace's arrival. But no, it's clog and slog and scootch, on the floor, in silence, in the dark."Do feel the same way about Grace and healing or do you feel differently? If so why?
I think grace and healing are at times pretty magical. I hae been blessed to be aware of some amazing instances of healing or "magical" manifestations of grace through answered prayer.
Other times it is scooch and slog waiting and struggling. The other more immediate and magical experiences get me through the scooch and slog ususally . . .until the slog is too sluggish and I just can't take it any more. Who of us hasn't been there?!
Anne is honest if nothing else. I am always a better more insightful person for her writing if even for just a moment. I'm glad she takes the time and honors us with her bared soul.
Thanks Anne for being you and telling us all about it!!!
Monday, August 27, 2007
Monday, August 13, 2007
Feeling up and peppy!
I am feeling really good this morning.
I have worked to get my sermon materials together and to the secretary. This is ahead of the game for me as it is Monday morning. Sometimes this doesn't happen until much later in the week.
Also, I worked hard this weekend on my newly started book. I am working on my I am memoir. It sounds so haughty to me to say I am working on my memoir, but I am. I need to research the difference in an autobiography and a memoir . . . Perhaps I'm actually writing an autobiography and don't know it! I'm up to 35 pages handwritten. I'm so proud that I am stickiing to the project. I've tried this before and not really done much with it. This time is going to be different. Actually, it is already different! The project is getting more involved and requiring more research. Isn't that a hoot that I need to research my own life?! I have kept journals for over 20 years and am using these to fill in the progression of things and details that have long since left my memory.
I'm looking into "official" terminology for some things I've been through as well. I suppose I can educate people through my experience as well as expertise! It is a challenge to put all this on paper, but it feels freeing at the same time. It is nice to have the last 20+ years chronicled all in an organized and succinct manner.
I LOVE organization!!!
I have worked to get my sermon materials together and to the secretary. This is ahead of the game for me as it is Monday morning. Sometimes this doesn't happen until much later in the week.
Also, I worked hard this weekend on my newly started book. I am working on my I am memoir. It sounds so haughty to me to say I am working on my memoir, but I am. I need to research the difference in an autobiography and a memoir . . . Perhaps I'm actually writing an autobiography and don't know it! I'm up to 35 pages handwritten. I'm so proud that I am stickiing to the project. I've tried this before and not really done much with it. This time is going to be different. Actually, it is already different! The project is getting more involved and requiring more research. Isn't that a hoot that I need to research my own life?! I have kept journals for over 20 years and am using these to fill in the progression of things and details that have long since left my memory.
I'm looking into "official" terminology for some things I've been through as well. I suppose I can educate people through my experience as well as expertise! It is a challenge to put all this on paper, but it feels freeing at the same time. It is nice to have the last 20+ years chronicled all in an organized and succinct manner.
I LOVE organization!!!
Thursday, August 9, 2007
New Ventures
The past couple of weeks have been odd.
I've been extremely introspective and creative.
Generally these characteristics don't manifest in my personality at the same time. I don't know why they don't or have theories as to why they are at this time. The result of all this culminating in my life at this time is that I have started writing prolifically.
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to write a book.
The question I had to answer first off was what would the book be about.
I had some ideas, but the two competing ideas as of late have been a book about my coming of age which included abuse, healing, continuing struggles from time to time, and maybe a bit about ministry. The other topic is solely about ministry particularly in a small Southern town. Both OK options. I had thoughts that I would one day perhaps give some serious thought to one or the other and then many years from now at some undetermined time I would get started.
Stranger than all get-out is that I have begin both!!! One Sunday afternoon I simply began writing. I wrote and wrote. The words were flowing, baby! The even stranger thing is that I have continued writing. I am having trouble not writing particularly when I am home. I first began the book about my coming of age. I don't have a title yet, so it is a bit awkward to describe, but the writing is so invigorating and exciting. It is coming together and I like what I see happening. The process is emotionally draining at the same time. I am thinking and reflecting on some difficult times in my life and it is taking its toll in some ways.
I fell almost called to write this book for the mere fact that it might lend a bit of hope for someone else who is struggling with abuse in their life. All is not perfect in my life, but I have made great strides in healing from some pretty severe trauma and people need to know it can be done. Repeatedly I have been told through the years that I should not have survived what I have experienced. I'm not sure whether that means I should be dead or mentally incapacitated. Truth is I've always been hesitant to know the answer so I never asked the question. While being told I am remarkable in that I survived was encouraging it also seemed to indicate that I should be happy with my status of healing at that time. I shouldn't expect too much in other words.
It never occurred to me that healing wasn't an option. I'm doing OK. I have fewer problems coping than many people I encounter on almost a daily basis. I would love to reach a place in life emotionally that abuse and its scars are totally eradicated from my life; but that is irrational. Everything we experience has its effects upon our lives. I am who I am as a result of my experiences: good and bad. So, I want to get information out there that healing and life is possible following trauma and abuse, even severe abuse. I sought such resources and they aren't available. This is my hope - to provide for others what I desired and couldn't find. I'm excited that I am actually taking steps to accomplish a long time dream/desire. My prayer is to balance my writing and the challenge it is emotionally in this case with life today and my ministry. I don't want writing and the past to color the present too darkly.
More later . . .
I've been extremely introspective and creative.
Generally these characteristics don't manifest in my personality at the same time. I don't know why they don't or have theories as to why they are at this time. The result of all this culminating in my life at this time is that I have started writing prolifically.
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to write a book.
The question I had to answer first off was what would the book be about.
I had some ideas, but the two competing ideas as of late have been a book about my coming of age which included abuse, healing, continuing struggles from time to time, and maybe a bit about ministry. The other topic is solely about ministry particularly in a small Southern town. Both OK options. I had thoughts that I would one day perhaps give some serious thought to one or the other and then many years from now at some undetermined time I would get started.
Stranger than all get-out is that I have begin both!!! One Sunday afternoon I simply began writing. I wrote and wrote. The words were flowing, baby! The even stranger thing is that I have continued writing. I am having trouble not writing particularly when I am home. I first began the book about my coming of age. I don't have a title yet, so it is a bit awkward to describe, but the writing is so invigorating and exciting. It is coming together and I like what I see happening. The process is emotionally draining at the same time. I am thinking and reflecting on some difficult times in my life and it is taking its toll in some ways.
I fell almost called to write this book for the mere fact that it might lend a bit of hope for someone else who is struggling with abuse in their life. All is not perfect in my life, but I have made great strides in healing from some pretty severe trauma and people need to know it can be done. Repeatedly I have been told through the years that I should not have survived what I have experienced. I'm not sure whether that means I should be dead or mentally incapacitated. Truth is I've always been hesitant to know the answer so I never asked the question. While being told I am remarkable in that I survived was encouraging it also seemed to indicate that I should be happy with my status of healing at that time. I shouldn't expect too much in other words.
It never occurred to me that healing wasn't an option. I'm doing OK. I have fewer problems coping than many people I encounter on almost a daily basis. I would love to reach a place in life emotionally that abuse and its scars are totally eradicated from my life; but that is irrational. Everything we experience has its effects upon our lives. I am who I am as a result of my experiences: good and bad. So, I want to get information out there that healing and life is possible following trauma and abuse, even severe abuse. I sought such resources and they aren't available. This is my hope - to provide for others what I desired and couldn't find. I'm excited that I am actually taking steps to accomplish a long time dream/desire. My prayer is to balance my writing and the challenge it is emotionally in this case with life today and my ministry. I don't want writing and the past to color the present too darkly.
More later . . .
I'm a fortune cookie!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
aging part 2
aging
another way in which ministry stinks at times is the constant watching people age and decline.
vibrant, functioning, men and women become lumps of disorder and dependance knowing nothing that goes on around them.
this morning I received a call from a woman's granddaughter-in-law.
The woman has been diagnosed with alzheimer's . . .
I saw her just weeks ago. She had been in the hospital for pneumonia, but seemed her usual self. Now she is already disoriented and wandering around the house.
Things change so quickly.
I questioned the diagnosis since she is declining so rapidly, but turns out it is true and because she had brain surgery years ago for an aneurism the fluid is depleating quickly on that portion of the brain. I really do not know too much about the disease, but that it takes the most vital people and robs them of vitality as well as intellect. The doctor told the family members who care for her he will fill out the paperwork for them to have FMLA for 6-8 weeks if they so desire. That should be all the time they need he said.
Oh, my heart aches.
Ministry stinks at times.
Yet, the woman says a visit from me, the pastor, is welcome and would probably help.
What a priviledge.
A joy of ministry is to be welcome and even wanted when no one else is allowed access to people. I feel honored and oh so lacking in wisdom and knowledge as how to fill such shoes!
another way in which ministry stinks at times is the constant watching people age and decline.
vibrant, functioning, men and women become lumps of disorder and dependance knowing nothing that goes on around them.
this morning I received a call from a woman's granddaughter-in-law.
The woman has been diagnosed with alzheimer's . . .
I saw her just weeks ago. She had been in the hospital for pneumonia, but seemed her usual self. Now she is already disoriented and wandering around the house.
Things change so quickly.
I questioned the diagnosis since she is declining so rapidly, but turns out it is true and because she had brain surgery years ago for an aneurism the fluid is depleating quickly on that portion of the brain. I really do not know too much about the disease, but that it takes the most vital people and robs them of vitality as well as intellect. The doctor told the family members who care for her he will fill out the paperwork for them to have FMLA for 6-8 weeks if they so desire. That should be all the time they need he said.
Oh, my heart aches.
Ministry stinks at times.
Yet, the woman says a visit from me, the pastor, is welcome and would probably help.
What a priviledge.
A joy of ministry is to be welcome and even wanted when no one else is allowed access to people. I feel honored and oh so lacking in wisdom and knowledge as how to fill such shoes!
aging
Today, child abuse and neglect -
Yesterday, an elderly woman in a nursing home was lying in her own poop when I entered her room. This is bad enough to imagine and to experience I imagine, but the woman also has a bed sore. Can you imagine how painful that must have been for the woman?
She is so sweet and easy going.
She apologized for her state when I arrived.
I asked her if I could get a nurse for her and her reply was "no, honey they will get to me as soon as they can. They are so busy in the mornings.
Oh my, I imagine this is why she has the pleasure of lying in her own poop while her skin is eaten away. . . . so sweet and kind, and this is how her long 98 year life is ending.
It is not fair nor how God intended.
Again, ministry stinks sometimes.
I did report the situation to the charge nurse.
Then, I called the woman's daughter and told her what I had done.
I felt in some ways that I had over steped some boundary.
The woman nor her daughter is a church member.
I know the daughter and the mother, but didn't feel particularly responsible.
Yet, I couldn't let the offense continue.
She got her bath and her diaper changed.
HOpefully some pain relief cream or something.
Ministry stinks sometimes.
Yesterday, an elderly woman in a nursing home was lying in her own poop when I entered her room. This is bad enough to imagine and to experience I imagine, but the woman also has a bed sore. Can you imagine how painful that must have been for the woman?
She is so sweet and easy going.
She apologized for her state when I arrived.
I asked her if I could get a nurse for her and her reply was "no, honey they will get to me as soon as they can. They are so busy in the mornings.
Oh my, I imagine this is why she has the pleasure of lying in her own poop while her skin is eaten away. . . . so sweet and kind, and this is how her long 98 year life is ending.
It is not fair nor how God intended.
Again, ministry stinks sometimes.
I did report the situation to the charge nurse.
Then, I called the woman's daughter and told her what I had done.
I felt in some ways that I had over steped some boundary.
The woman nor her daughter is a church member.
I know the daughter and the mother, but didn't feel particularly responsible.
Yet, I couldn't let the offense continue.
She got her bath and her diaper changed.
HOpefully some pain relief cream or something.
Ministry stinks sometimes.
Mandated Reporter
Ugh, pastoring stinks sometimes.
I had to make my first report of suspected child abuse this morning.
It hurts.
In so many ways it hurts.
I'm sad for the child. She is, of course, the reason I filed the complaint.
I'm sad for the mother who really isn't capable of doing any better.
I'm sad that any chance of a pastoral relationship is destroyed.
Of course, it is illegal for anyone to let her know who filed the complaint, but I'm confident she won't have too hard a time knowing who it was.
The mother was actually snorting some substance when the little three-year-old girl let me into their motel room. How stupid can she be?
Oh, man, I am drained from the entire experience.
Pastoring stinks sometimes, on the other hand, perhaps I've made a difference positively in the life of that sweet little child.
I had to make my first report of suspected child abuse this morning.
It hurts.
In so many ways it hurts.
I'm sad for the child. She is, of course, the reason I filed the complaint.
I'm sad for the mother who really isn't capable of doing any better.
I'm sad that any chance of a pastoral relationship is destroyed.
Of course, it is illegal for anyone to let her know who filed the complaint, but I'm confident she won't have too hard a time knowing who it was.
The mother was actually snorting some substance when the little three-year-old girl let me into their motel room. How stupid can she be?
Oh, man, I am drained from the entire experience.
Pastoring stinks sometimes, on the other hand, perhaps I've made a difference positively in the life of that sweet little child.
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