Mingling joy and sadness

My parinishioner continues in the decline toward death.
I saw him briefly this morning.
He is no longer responsive.
His head is leaned WAY back and
he sleeps.
That's all.
Always sleeping.

I had the sense as I stood by his bed saying a prayer
that his spirit is already gone.
All that remains is the body going through its rote processes.
The heart continues to beat,
the lungs continue to breathe,
but the soul has left the building.

I am sad to see people in this condition.
I pray he can be released from what binds him here soon.

Sadness has really been my emotion overriding all else the past couple of days.
It is so hard to watch someone slip away from being an active and vital part of the congregation to being a sleeping mass in a hospital bed. I had to change my focus. I will prepare for the service when the time comes, but in the meantime there are other living members on whom I have been focusing my attention. This has helped my mood dramatically. I have some real dears in this congregation. I was visiting with one lady today who makes me laugh and the one following her just kept telling me that she loves me. The joyous nature of ministry is what I'm trying to focus upon.